As the sword sliced through the air Dastardly dodged into the centre of the cave mouth. Foolishly he'd let go of the boots, the one thing that could easily get him out of here.
'Why'd you open your visor?' he asked as he fumbled for his trick blade.
'You know, I thought I was being dramatic and I – hey, what are you doing?'
The knight lunged forward again as a bolt from Dastardly's hilt bounced off his helmet. Clumsily turning the thing around in his arms, the freelancer used the sword to swipe away the one coming towards him.
'Who are you? Why are you even here?' he said.
The next strike was corps a corps in the swashbuckling tradition, the knight having tried a backhand horizontal slash and Dastardly blocking vertically.
'I'm Sir Adrian, and I'm on an important mission for King and glory! Who are you?'
The freelancer pushed with all the strength he could muster and kicked the knight out of the way. He brought his blade down over Sir Adrian's head, who blocked it like second nature.
'I'm Dastardly. I'm on a mission to save my hide.'
In an attempt to control both weapons, the freelancer forced the blade downwards. Too late he realised he had left the shooter open, and when the knight's sword bumped into the hilt of his own it released the second shot.
'Yah!' he yelped as he jumped back. The bolt whizzed into the night.
'Clever little device you have there,' said Sir Adrian. 'Pity it can't help you.'
'I give up,' said Dastardly, 'you're clearly a better swordsman than I am! I only did this for a stranger who threatened to disembowel me!'
'You poisoned my horse,' the knight glowered. 'What have you got to worry about, you've got freaking gnomish boots! I was supposed to be leaving for Hox tonight.'
'Really?' Dastardly sheathed his sword, though Adrian's was still half-raised in deflating fury. 'I was on my way there myself. What is going on with your people?'
'It doesn't make any difference. The Clockwork City is on the move.'
Outside the cave the rain finally fell. The sky seemed to open up all at once, covering the rocks of the Sponge in dirty rivulets.
'Come in then,' said Adrian, motioning him to the fire. 'You won't be going anywhere for the moment.'
The knight put his sword away and the freelancer grabbed the Mercurial Boots before the rain blew in.
'I know the Clockwork City is on the move,' said Dastardly. 'I saw some of the citizens along the road. There must be a fair group already over the Pan.'
'You don't understand,' Adrian said as he sat across from his cobbled together double, which consisted mostly of bags filled with sand wearing a cape. 'The actual city has gotten up and left.'
A distressed neigh from the knight's horse was a warning to Dastardly that he may not be out of the woods just yet.
'How did that happen? A city is a city, they stay where they are built.'
'It isn't called the Clockwork City for nothing. The whole place is a mysterious, finely honed machine, and one day the King felt the ground beneath his feet shake – he ordered everyone to leave before they understood what was happening.'
'Why have you been out here in Sponge Country then?'
The knight pointed at the decoy figure. 'You will find it in my satchel.'
Dastardly found a bag that held two slightly curved objects. He pulled one out, it was about the size of a dinner plate and as heavy and smooth as marble. He brought it closer to the fire. The stony ellipse was cracked around the edges, a deep azure colour, and held the imprint of what could have been a four legged spider.
'That impression is unique to the Clockwork City,' said Adrian. 'Or so we thought. Not long after the City had faded from sight, a man called Siy contacted the King using a communication stone. He knew of the City's departure somehow, and told us that if we could bring our artefact – and one from this “Sponge Country” – to the Turretial at Hox, he would bring it back to our lands.'
'The Land-Regent is curious as to why everyone is travelling there,' said Dastardly. He paused for a beat. 'But you don't seem like someone from the Clockwork City. Where are all the wind-up gadgets?'
'We didn't reverse engineer the City, that was the gnomes. We just lived there until recently – of course, now the man at the Turretial has invited all of the world's people to join him in congress.'
That's a relief, thought Dastardly. 'Good,' he said. 'I had a friend... well, let's just say I have reasons not to like clockwork technology. Anyway, I think I should come with you to Hox. The Regent would want me to talk with Siy for him.'
'That's going to be a problem, what with my transport about to have an allergic reaction to something she ate, no thanks to you.' Behind him the freelancer heard the sound, he guessed, of the horse lying down on the ground.
'I've got an idea for that,' said Dastardly. 'A knight like yourself would have thought smart and bought passage on the deep road, right?'
'Yes,' said Adrian warily. 'You buy a code that the gnome's machines recognise for a certain period of time.'
'When the rain stops, we need to get down there,' the freelancer said while he strapped on his boots.
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