Search for Dastardly Part 6

And now for those who have been waiting for the "conclusion"... here's a part almost long enough to be split in two ;P  

In all seriousness though, the main scene worked better as a whole, and the epilogue should answer a few questions about other characters' motivations.

Previously on Search for Dastardly:

Renda, Waory and Nuff have discovered that there are remnants of the freelancer wandering around, remnants that Krotar will likely seek out if he wants to get his revenge.  Meanwhile, Sir Adrian has been captured by what appears to be a familiar face...

Adrian currently hoped that he could stall the crazy man long enough to figure a way out. The ropes binding his arms and legs were tight and not very thick, but it would be painful to rub the fibres together if he wanted to weaken them.

The room around him seemed to be a deserted publican, complete with barstools covered by white sheets and cobwebs lining the roof. The only possible weapon Adrian could think of was the old broom that rested against the wall.

There were two entrances: saloon doors to the knight's right and a pair of wooden doors behind the bar. Neither were close enough to reach before “Dastardly” or his accomplice could stop him.

'If you really are him,' he asked, 'then what is your real name?'

“Dastardly” hesitated before stuttering the line he had said three or four times since Adrian became conscious.

'...b...b...bai'm called Dastardly,' he said, his voice straining against something.

'What happened to that friend of yours, the one you told me about that time in Sponge Country?'

'Friend? I work alone, Sir Adrian. Anyone who I call friend just hasn't outlived their usefulness.'

'Yes, about that Dastardly,' said the dirty man with the raspy voice, 'what are we –'

'Silence! Listen to me when I'm being important.'

'Look, “Dastardly”,' the knight said. 'It should be obvious that I'm not very convinced. If there's nothing else I can help you with, I'd rather just be on my way.'

'Fred, there's someone outside. Can't you hear them yelling?'

The false Dastardly turned around and begun, 'For the last time, I'm not...' before the back doors burst open. Sitting astride Sal as she replaced her hoof was a knight.

'What the..?'

As the dust of the smashed wood settled, Nuff leapt into the room and fired a crossbow-like weapon at the ratty man. Out of the end came a small net that swung around the target's head, causing him to fall over. Nuff waved to the horse-rider and called out, 'yep, he's in here!'

“Dastardly” dived for the front doors but was too late as the armoured knight – wearing Adrian's armour! – dismounted the horse and threw the broom like a spear at the man's head. The false Dastardly went down and the knight approached Adrian. The figure removed it's helmet, revealing itself to be Renda.

'Aren't you a little...' Adrian continued despite his better judgement, '...shapely to fit that armour?'

'Aren't you a little tied up right now?' Renda replied drolly, though a friendly smile flashed across her face like lightening. She went to untie Adrian while Nuff thumped “Dastardly” with the butt of his shooting device. In the other corner of the room, the ratty man struggled to his feet, took one look at the man he had called Fred and ran out the back door.

'Leave him,' Adrian said. He brought his arms forward and massaged the wrists. 'Good job, by the way,' he nodded to the gnome. 'Clever little net-sling-thing you've got there.' The knight stood up and winked at Renda. 'And the broom? That was genius. How did you know where I was?'

Renda and Nuff exchanged guilty glances.

'Well there was your horse...'

'And gnomes have a good sense of direction...'

The mercenary sighed. 'You mean you didn't hear that?'

Adrian appeared puzzled. 'The ratty guy said he heard shouting.'

'We tried two other buildings on our way over here,' Renda grinned and ventured a shrug. 'So maybe people were a bit surprised.'

A heavy silence hung over the room, broken by the false Dastardly groaning.

'Did you find out what happened to Dastardly?'

Nuff gave the man on the floor another casual bump on the head. 'More or less.'

'What does that mean?'

Renda knelt down and grabbed the unconscious body's legs.

'Give me a hand?'

Adrian obligingly lifted the head and together they walked out the back door.

'The Book says that when the Regent poisoned Medieval, he left behind some remnants, separated from his body. I guess you've already met his face.' They swung the limp man over the horse's back.

The knight simply raised an eyebrow.

'Don't expect me to tell you how,' Renda said harshly. 'One remnant is the façade that he put up, including what he looks like and that silly name; the other – his soul – is in the Troll Underworld, whatever that could be.'

'What do we do next then?' said Adrian, poking his head back into the building. He then turned left to see Nuff waving to somebody. Waory rounded the corner of the alley and shook a large key at the others.

'The librarian told me where we can go to find out – hi Sir Adrian, glad to see you're alright – the place the book mentioned.'

'Slow down,' the mercenary said, removing Adrian's gauntlets from her smaller but certainly not dainty hands. 'What is that key?'

Waory stopped shaking it. 'This? Mr Parch said that we should take the key with us, as long as we're on our way to Skim. The Illuman book is safely locked away for now.'

'We're going to the river town?' Adrian was taken aback. 'What the heck for?'

'Mr Parch said that if we really want to find Dastardly, the real Dastardly, we need to go to the Liquid Library.' The advisor clearly didn't quite understand what that meant, but continued anyway. 'The easiest passage to the mountains over there is north of the river delta.'

'You can't be serious,' Adrian groaned. 'This is a quest you're talking about. Just when I thought this stuff was over...'

Renda shook her head. 'Don't you get it? Whatever happened to Medieval can't be normal. And we've got to keep one step ahead of Krotar! Let's get moving!'

Nuff sidled a little closer to Adrian.

'I don't think the knight's so stupid. Listen lady, you've been a big help since I met you, but we don't even know what this Krotar is after – all we have is your word that he wants the freelancer.'

Scowling, Renda threw the remaining armour pieces on the ground.

'I'll find him alone if I must. You three had better be ready for when Nius catches up on your trail.'

Waory jumped in front of her as she stormed up the alley.

'Hey wait, I need to –'

'Out of my way.'

'Hey, hey, hey people!' Adrian manoeuvred a shoulder between them and eyeballed the mercenary. 'None of us have a good reason just to turn on each other.'

'Oh yeah? Then why are you so reluctant to get going?'

Nuff switched tact. 'Do I sense a hint of softness for Mr Medieval?'

'It's not that at all.' The knight's face hardened. 'Renda always wanted to be an adventurer, that's why she joined the mercs. This is just an excuse to go gallivanting around the countryside after ideals and treasure.'

The woman opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but nothing came out.

'I knew I was right. This isn't about rescuing anybody. Nuff – was it her idea to burst through the door like a knight in shining armour?'

The gnome offered no rebuttal, and Renda's eyes stared, empty, into the middle distance while Adrian continued. 

'You want a reason to quest across the land and defy fate – right, Miss Rogue? You want to laugh in the face of Death. Let me tell you, Renda, I've seen Death, and she's the one thing you don't make light of.'

Waory backed away as the mercenary slumped to the ground.

'Wow,' she said. 'You certainly know how to wind a girl.'

From her kneeling position, Renda looked up into Adrian's stern eyes. They appeared to soften a fraction. Then, she thrust her fist between his legs.

The knight squeaked and toppled backward, hands covering his crotch.

'That was low,' he said, in a voice that was anything but. The mercenary stood up.

'Thank you for wrapping up everything I am into one neat package.' She spat on the ground beside the knight. 'Bet you wished you kept your armour on now, right?'

When Adrian had finished making the sounds of a dying mouse, she offered a hand to help him up.

'We're going to Skim, Sir Knight, and on the way you can tell me all about my adventurous aspirations.' Renda glanced at Waory, who had managed to hide behind the far wall of the building without apparently moving.

'Regent's advisor, would you care to show us the way out of the city?'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Epilogue

Mr Parch the librarian choked, his eyes rolling towards the ground. Nius, whose hair and beard ringed his face like a lion's mane, released his grasp on the librarian's neck but remained holding the knife blade to his throat.

'The Land-Regent knew everything about what was going on in the north,' said Krotar calmly. 'We simply wanted to do his job so we could get close enough to steal the Book.  Not only did that fool Medieval beat me to Hox, now the Regent's in prison and the Book is back here. My friend doesn't like that. He needs the Book, and I need Dastardly gone. Give us the whereabouts of both and you'll live to see another dry, musty, indoors day.'

'I can't give it to you,' Mr Parch said, still whispering, though much more frantically. 'The other librarians are the only ones who can unlock the quarantine vault...'

'Then give us your key,' Krotar said. 'We'll leave you alive at least until we come back.'

Nius grinned like a carnivore before pouncing. He opened his mouth to release a sound that shall not be described here, but it was a sound that shook the librarian's psyche to the core.

'I can't.'  Mr Parch tried to smile for his small success. 'It's out of the city by now.'

'Don't worry,' Krotar sneered. 'We already know who you gave it to.'

With that, Nius sniffed the air and directed the enthralled mercenary out of the library. They were on the trail – on the hunt for prey.

To be continued in the Ongoing Adventures.

Search for Dastardly Part 5

Adrian refrained from commenting on the unusual brass hat that his horse was wearing when they left the palace, allowing the gnome to remove it while appearing incredibly guilty. As the others descended the steps, the knight began to strip down.

'What is that?' Renda gasped.

Nuff winced. 'I don't know if it's legal.'

'What?' Adrian said. 'Haven't you seen a guy in casual clothes before?'

Gone was the bulky armour that Renda had become accustomed to seeing. Underneath, the knight wore puffy brown pants and a striped tunic – and that wasn't even the biggest crime. Small ruffs encircled Adrian's neck and sleeves, throwing his sensibly groomed hair into sharp relief.

'Are you supposed to be from the middle ages or something?'

Adrian produced a strained grin. 'Look who's talking, Ms Rogue.'

Renda absent-mindedly brushed the front of her leather one-piece and straightened her greaves. Adrian strapped the armour onto the side of Sal's saddle.

'We need to keep moving, people,' Waory said. He failed to avoid Renda's harsh gaze.

***

Not far from the markets, the streets of the city were eerily quiet. Cobbled spaces echoed every step of the motley group's passage on their way to the library, and Adrian's horse became uneasy.

'Where are all the citizens?' said Renda.

'We've already lost a ruler in the past year,' Waory said, without answering much. 'There's concern and even fear.' They approached the library's columned entrance. 'It sounds ridiculous, but I think a storm is brewing.'

At this the other humans involuntarily looked upwards into the clear sky. A seagull streaked past.

'He's being metaphorical,' said Nuff. The group stopped under the shadow of the tall building, all marble and sand colours.

'You go in with the others,' the knight told Renda. Sal had stopped short of getting too close to the library. 'I need to sort something out and I'll be up in a second.'

Renda nodded and followed Waory through a private gate. After she was out of sight, the knight walked into a side alley that they had passed on the way.

'Who is it?' he shouted. He might have heard a thump before everything else went dark.

***

Inside the maze of shelves that made the first floor of the library, nothing but the sound of a solitary beetle scuttling across the ground reached the ears of Renda, Nuff and Waory. Eventually they found their way to the main librarian's desk on a wall of the huge space, but even Nuff, whose people were used to navigating twisted tunnels underground, could not quite remember in which direction the doors were.

As Renda reached out for the bell on the counter, the advisor shook his head knowingly. Before her hand had come within an inch of it, a tall, gaunt man appeared behind the desk – so quickly he might have risen out of the ground. He put his hand to his lips and hissed, 'shhh.'

'Mr Parch?' Waory said softly. 'We need to look at a special book...'

Nuff jumped up and heaved himself onto the counter. 'The Illuman book. Probably has a creepy eye on the front.'

Mr Parch proceeded to shush the gnome.

'Speak quietly,' whispered Waory. 'There are enough big words in here for everyone without you adding to them.'

Mr Parch tipped his head to the advisor and began to speak. His mouth seemed more to hint at the words than produce them, as if he were projecting his thoughts calmly and precisely to the visitors' ears without vibrating the air in between.

'We called it the Book of Too Much Knowledge.'

Renda, on the other hand, whispered louder than how most men spoke on a regular basis.

'We must use its knowledge.'

Before Mr Parch raised his arm a third time, Waory nodded and waved behind them. 'I'll come with you.'

Waory and the librarian marched around a row of shelves to the group's left without glancing back.

'Where'd our shining knight get off to?' Nuff asked.

'He said that he would follow us in,' Renda said. 'I wouldn't blame him for getting lost in here.'

***

Adrian was woken by a bucket-full of water being dumped on his head. From the feeling in his nose and cheek, he had been flat on the ground for a while. Now his arms were tied around the back of a chair and his legs strapped to the floor.

'This is original,' he muttered.

'Quit yappin',' a high pitched, raspy voice said. Its owner ventured into the knight's vision, and was – rather appropriately – a rat faced man. This one though, as opposed to a recent nuisance in Adrian's past, was not a kobom, just a dirty human.

'What now, Fred?' said Adrian's dust-coloured kidnapper.

'I told you, I'm not Fred,' said another voice, deeper and in some way familiar to the knight.

'Who are you? What do you want?' Adrian said.

The dirty man opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the other stranger who chuckled mirthlessly.

'Don't you recognise me?'

A second man, bigger than the first but not overly so, made his way into Adrian's field of view. The face took a moment to register with the knight because some elements were simply wrong. Overall however, it resembled an odd acquaintance of his, recently deceased.

'I'm called Dastardly, and you're going to tell me why.'

The knight spluttered for a moment, dumbfounded. 'Who are you really? Dastardly is dead, and this is a loco prank.'

The man walked closer to Adrian, who felt the need to punch the not-quite-right visage square between the eyes. 'You are Sir Adrian of the Clockwork City. I am somehow involved with you, commercially, I think...'

'You're insane.'

'Maybe not that far, but certainly a few sticks short.' The man smiled at Adrian. 'I only started remembering all this the other night.'

'Mr Dastardly...' the dirty man said.

“Dastardly” turned back suddenly. 'Just Dastardly,' he said. He continued his unhinged spiel. 'This chump I don't know. Or at least, I don't think I have any ongoing contracts with him...'

***

'You are aware,' the librarian insinuated as the group looked at the twisted script in the Book of Too Much Knowledge, 'that there are parts to a person that aren't physical?'

The others nodded passively as he continued.

'First of all, the book says that someone is hunting this man.'

'We already know that,' said Renda. 'Krotar is mad.'

'But,' Mr Parch intoned, 'to find him, this Krotar will have to get both remnants.'

The halls of the library were silent while the visitors tried to understand.

'Remnants?' said Nuff. 'What remnants?'

'Your friend's face and soul have been separated from his body.'

Renda once again failed at whispering. 'You've lost me. Are you saying that there is more than one part of Dastardly out there?'

'That's what the book says. One part is very close, whereas the other resides in –'

'The Troll Underworld,' Waory read out. The woman and the gnome glanced at him.

'Um,' he said, 'the Land-Regent mentioned the Troll Underworld just before he poisoned Mr Medieval, but there isn't one iota of information about it here in the library.'

'What about in this book?' the gnome said.

Mr Parch closed the Book of Too Much Knowledge without ceremony.

'This book is to be burned,' he susurrated. 'We do not call it The Book of Ooh, Come and Read as Much as You Want.'

'Right now?' Waory said. 'But we need to find where the freelancer went!'

Renda grasped the librarian's arm in a firm, not entirely threatening way.

'If we can't get to Dastardly first, Krotar will turn this land upside down in search of him.'

'I hate to be devil's advocate here, but we haven't even seen this “Krotar”,' said Nuff.

The mercenary turned her head askew, still holding on to Mr Parch.

'Just a minute...' she said. 'One part of Dastardly is close, and Adrian hasn't returned yet.'

Ongoing Adventures #0

This "early bird" instalment of Ongoing Adventures fills in some missing information before the end of Search for Dastardly.


Loss of Face

Not long after the man who called himself Dastardly Medieval died, the woman employed as Death was having doubts about her apprentice's fitness for the task at hand.

'I promise, Master. Nothing will happen to it.'

Death walked to the freelancer's cold body and sighed. 'This is very important, Orticia. Dastardly will want his face intact when he returns from his mission, and the Ces need that leverage.'

'Why do you call this freelancer Dastardly?' the apprentice wondered aloud. 'As Death, you would know that he's really called –'

'Listen,' Death said. She placed her hands near the body. It would be an hour or so before the undertaker returned, and another hour still before Waory was contacted by Sir Adrian the Knight. As Death's hands touched the pallid skin, a ball of light – like a parody of a lens flare in spherical form – erupted from the freelancer's empty head. The face then flattened out and the corpse was seemingly devoid of identity.

'Take it to the river delta Skim,' said Death. 'The vault in that city has a place already set aside for it.' Death knew that she would look at another body in the future and wish that Orticia could have completed the task. However, events progressing exactly to plan was not required and this course of action was still valid. Death passed the glowing light – what remained of Dastardly's identity now that his soul was elsewhere – into her apprentice's hands.

Orticia bobbed her head in obedience and looked at the freelancer's “face” between her palms. 'I will not fail,' she said. Death, having seen her failure, did not nod but disappeared to attend to other matters.

***

'How do I get out of here?'

Orticia had blundered into another dead end on her way out of the plains capital. Often, people will ignore death unless it has some bearing on themselves, so almost no one noticed the frantic woman holding a glow between her hands – until a pair of voices came at her from behind, clearly intent on noticing her.

'What have we here, Fred?' said a raspy voice. 'Is she a witch? She's hard to look at, this one.'

'That's coz she doesn't want to be seen,' said a deeper voice, presumably Fred. 'Where are you going in such a hurry, young miss?'

Death's apprentice tried to remember the rite of nothing. 'Everything crumbles,' she mumbled.

The two muggers encircled the transfixed Orticia. Fred, the bigger one, looked at what she was holding.

'Something of value, little miss?' he said. 'You hand it over, and we won't be quite as rough.'

'Nothing is really there forever!' she said, and ran forwards. The bigger thug gasped dumbly as the woman ran straight through him. He collapsed as a strange light shone out of his mouth.

To her horror, Orticia saw that the freelancer's face had gone, but she didn't stick around to see the results – instead she stumbled blindly through walls as if they were mist until she had beelined outside of the city, several metres under a mound of dirt.

'Fred, what's wrong Fred?' said the shorter of the two thugs, the one with the raspy voice. On the ground the bigger thug stopped clutching at his face.

'I'm not Fred,' he said as he stood up.

Search for Dastardly Part 4

The gnome watched the knight and the tough, plucky girl dismount their horse upon arrival at the palace. After they had ascended the wide steps, he procured a large hemisphere, hollow and covered in rubber alternating with chunks of metal.

Nuff then approached the horse. 'Easy there,' he mumbled. 'Just need to see what I think you've seen.'

He scrabbled his way onto the back of the beast – which was visibly irritated but probably hoping he would feed it another apple. When he placed the hemisphere like a cap on its head, he produced another device from his cavernous coat. This one resembled a glowing window lined with brass tubing.

'I knew it!' he said, not a second later. 'This knight was with Dastardly.'

Nuff then leapt onto the cobbles below and replaced the window device inside his clothing. He was halfway up the stairs himself when he turned to notice the hemisphere still on the horse's head.

Damn it, he thought, before shaking his head. Just leave it there.

Following the other two, the gnome opened the gigantic doors by leaning hard against them. The effort required by someone his size was diminished by the fact that he didn't need as much of a crack to squeeze inside.

Voices were coming from the far side of the entrance hall. Nuff went towards the throne room to eavesdrop.

***

Waory was almost finished telling Adrian and Renda about the events of the previous day, before he detailed what had happened since.

'When the Land-Regent killed the freelancer, I couldn't just stand by. Despite what you may think, servants have a lot of power under the laws of the plains.'

'What use is that?' Renda said.

Adrian grinned amiably. 'I think my bold friend here means: what did you actually do?' Renda raised an eyebrow.

'The Civil Authorities realised the more power that the workers have, the less likely you are to have a situation were, say, a trusted advisor plans to usurp the throne. I used the law to arrest Sirus for murder, and it worked.'

'They didn't think that you were trying out usurpation for yourself?'

The advisor shook his head. 'The investigators were brought in, everything went swimmingly...'

Adrian paced across to the vacant throne. 'Okay, so why did the Land-Regent act so rashly? I thought he was chosen for his cool head.'

'We aren't sure, but the investigators did a search of his quarters in case they might have leads, such as another country paying to have Mr Medieval killed.'

The knight stared back at the advisor. 'They found something, didn't they?'

'They found a book that had been missing from the library.'

'That's it?' Renda spat. 'A stolen book?'

Waory shook his head again, like some pantomime character. 'We're drifting off topic here. The reason I needed you to come was because of Mr Medieval's body.'

'Just get to the point.'

'At first we thought it might have something to do with the Land-Regent's poison, but –'

The advisor was suddenly on the receiving end of two dangerous glares.

'His face has disappeared, his clothes are missing and we can't find his identification papers, happy now?'

Renda and the knight swapped puzzled looks.

'So you can't actually confirm that it's him that died,' said Adrian. 'Is it possible that this was all a set up, or a trick?'

The man attempted to appear pensive but came off as stroking an imaginary beard. 'I saw the freelancer die on the balcony, there's no doubt about it.'

Having chosen the best time to make a grand entrance, the gnome joined the circle of people by the throne.

'We could use the book to find out what's really going on,' he said. 'Sorry to barge in like this, the name's Nuff.' Nuff Sed turned to Adrian. 'I saw you get off that airship yesterday, the one my cousin Plen was piloting.'

Before the knight had fully registered this, Nuff continued speaking.

'I'd bet all of my gold on that book being an Illuman relic.'

'The dark artefacts?' Waory said, apparently shocked. 'The Illuman artefacts were destroyed some time before the first World Congress.'

Adrian snapped his fingers. 'That's the connection, it's all there in the library.'

The knight began to elaborate while the others stared on dumbly.

'The research papers didn't describe them, but the author witnessed Illuman relics causing madness to those who used them “too greedily”. Waory – this book probably did the same thing to the Land-Regent that the glass shard did to Siy before we met him.'

'May I see this shard?' the gnome said. Adrian rummaged about in the satchel by his waist, suddenly remembering the night he'd shown some entirely different objects to the dead freelancer. When he found the shard, he passed it sideways to the gnome.

'Interesting,' said Nuff. 'It's like something out of a fairytale.' He pointed to the writing. 'Did you notice this?'

The knight shrugged. 'Yeah, it says “d'Aseere”, but I couldn't find what that means.'

'This does get us somewhere,' said Nuff. 'Not very helpful though, if you don't want to go mad.'

'Hang on, just hang on everyone,' Renda said, holding her arms up defensively. She looked down at the gnome. 'You said we could use this Illuman book to find out what's going on.'

'Theoretically, yes,' Nuff replied. 'As far as I know, the Illuman relics' purpose was to inform their creators of things they could not otherwise know.' He indicated Waory. 'Your Regent was probably using the book to get ahead on a commerce deal, or something.'

Adrian shivered. 'If we are to read this book to find out what happened to Dastardly –'

'And hopefully stop Krotar and Nius from turning the land inside out,' Renda added.

The knight continued. 'We had better make this quick. Waory, can you requisition the book?'

'I recommend that we pay the Library a visit. Let's get going.'

Search for Dastardly Part 3

This part grew in the telling, so Part 4 won't be far behind (earliest will be Wednesday next week).

Adrian awoke early the next morning. Down in a field nearby, he found Renda sitting cross-legged, facing the growing light of sunrise.

'We should leave now,' he said. 'I don't want any more magic happening. That stuff just isn't right.'

Renda kept looking at the horizon. 'That “stuff” wasn't magic,' she said. 'I don't know what it was, so don't ask – it just wasn't magic.'

'We can take Sal down to the city, we'll be there before midday.'

'There's the dawn,' Renda said. She stood up and turned to the knight. 'Alright then, let's go.'

They walked together towards the stables.

'No offence to your colleagues,' Adrian blurted, 'but you seem a little conscientious to be a mercenary.'

'What do you mean?'

'Finding my horse, for one thing – no one paid you to do that. I guess I just want to know who I am working with.'

The woman stopped walking. 'As long as we're doing this thing... I could ask similarly of you.'

'There isn't much more about me than meets the eye,' the knight said. 'I was born in the Clockwork City, I became part of the Guard and was knighted when I –'

'Hmm?'

'It's a boring story. I've been in service of the new King since the lentil harvests started.'

Renda's eyes widened. 'You're not that knight of the Clockwork City?' she said. 'The one who travelled the darkest parts of the Foreboding Forest and defeated the hag of the swamps?'

'Well actually, I just gave her some spinach...'

'It was you!' Renda said. 'Is it true that you killed a dragon?'

'How do you know about this?'

'The troubadours sing and rhyme about you everywhere!' Renda said, her face lighting up with more than the sun. 'I always wanted to be like the fabled Knight who found the Golden Lentil! Your story was spoken in the same breaths as Won the Conqueror!'

Adrian tried to talk over his own blushing. 'I doubt I'm as famous as Won. Perhaps we should just keep going.'

'Sir Adrian, I never knew your name, but I joined the mercenaries because of you. I wanted to go on adventures and save damsels, wrestling monsters with my bare hands.' Renda gasped, putting her hand to her mouth. 'Krotar, Bei and I were sent to catch you!'

'What?'

'That was our contract,' she said in awe. 'The plains Civility thought there was a spy hiding in the north, in the Sponge Country. It was you.'

'That's quite a coincidence,' Adrian said, carefully avoiding Renda's gaze. 'You aren't still going to do it, right?'

'Don't be thick,' she said, returning to her detached air almost immediately. 'We've got to go and talk to this Waory fellow, quick.'

'Right,' Adrian said. Without looking back, the knight rushed away as the sun reached into the sky.

***

Sal was a sturdy and reliable horse, if a little on the slow side. As Adrian and Renda settled into her trotting speed along the southbound lane, the knight turned his head slightly. The mercenary sat behind him, and it was the first time since her outburst that he looked her in the face.

'Watch out,' she said, and the knight turned back to steer the horse down the right path.

'Why did you join the mercenaries if you wanted to be a hero, Renda?'

'I'd rather not talk about that,' she said. 'The sooner we can find out what this whole business with Dastardly is –'

'Do you really care about what happens?' said Adrian. 'And what if he's just dead, nothing strange about it?'

'I don't expect you to understand, Sir Adrian, but I have no idea what is going on. Nius showed up and finagled our free will – I'm pretty sure he's anything but human. Now Krotar and he are on some mission to kill this freelancer? Even if he's probably dead? Where's the logic? What could possibly connect anything that's happened over the last few days?'

'I find,' the knight replied, 'that the answers can sometimes track you down, wherever you might be.'

'Like Sal and me finding you at the farm.'

'Yeah,' he grunted. 'There's got to be a reason that we're headed down this path. All we can do is hope that it's a good reason.'

***

Adrian spoke up again as they rode through the city outskirts. 'The whole place is designed to fan out of the main square and the palace. It actually looks pretty grand from the air.'

'You weren't on that airship from Hox, too, were you?'

'Of course,' said the knight. 'Don't expect me to settle for walking, I'm too important.'

'Where is it now?' Renda said, ignoring the jab at her supposed fanaticism. 'A working airship like that could fetch a hefty price out west.'

'Actually, it's back in the hands of a gnome,' Adrian said. He realised that the horse had stopped moving, and a crunching noise was coming from her mouth. The knight looked round and saw a small hand feeding Sal an apple. Connected to the small hand were a body and a face, somehow familiar.

'What are you doing?' he said to the new gnome.

'Nuffin',' it replied. 'What're you doing?'

'We have an urgent meeting at the palace, if you don't mind moving.'

'Fine,' the gnome said. 'I guess your horse has had plenty.'

As they gathered speed again, something was tugging at the back of Adrian's mind. For now he dismissed it as just a bit of flotsam from the time he had spent with the freelancer.

Continues straight into Part 4, coming soon.

Search for Dastardly Part 2

'Tell me more about what happened between Krotar and Dastardly,' Adrian said as he guided Renda and his horse back to the farm.

'Nothing of note. Krotar was little less than insane when Dastardly bumped into us.'

'Why would you work with such a man?' Adrian knocked on the barn again. 'Your Highness, I require use of the object I brought to you earlier today.'

The voice of the king radiated across the dim countryside.

'Of course Sir Knight. Do not try to enter yet.'

They heard a bolt slide back, and the door opened a sliver.  The king's arm protruded with a glass shard in hand. Adrian handled the glass by the smooth base on which it stood, the letters “d'Aseere” visible below his fingers. The door closed again, the bolt was replaced and the knight thought he heard a faint giggle from the other side.

Renda looked bemused by the whole process. 'I had little choice but to work with Krotar, he was my senior.'

Adrian took the shard around the wall and placed it on a shoulder-level bail of straw. His horse made snuffling noises as she happily chewed on hay behind them.

With no indications to the contrary, Renda continued. 'Besides, he seemed fine when we left Donhen. Only when we met Nius did he start acting paranoid and suspicious.'

The knight was patting the pockets on his person.

'What are you doing?'

He procured a stone with asymmetrical runes carved into it.

'This here,' he pointed to the shard of glass, upright on the straw, 'is a dark artefact. I'm sure of it. The previous owner went crazy trying to use it to look into the past. This morning I was in the plains capital; I tried to find information on it in the library. Nothing on this particular device, but from what I read, I think we can find Dastardly without too many adverse side effects.'

'It's you who's crazy,' said Renda. 'I suppose that in your hand is an ancient com-stone?'

'This is a communication stone from our old city. I've seen the shard display the speaker at the other end.'

'Yeah right, a com-stone. I don't believe you.'

'Go ahead,' said Adrian. 'We'll see.'

He stepped to the side. 'Try not to look directly at the glass. I'm eighty percent sure you won't lose your mind if we keep exposure to a minimum, but we should still be cautious.'

Renda folded her arms and gazed in his direction while Adrian pressed his thumb to an engraving on the stone. He thought of the freelancer he'd left on the steps of the palace.

'Hello?' he said. 'This is Sir Adrian Salem –'

The glass changed from subtly reflecting the environment to showing a bespectacled man. High hair, floppy cape and busybody demeanour: certainly not the freelancer.

'Goodness!' Renda stepped back. 'It works!'

'Remember not to stare at the glass!'

'What did you say?' The man had pulled the freelancer's com-stone from a pocket and pressed the rune.

'Where is Dastardly Medieval?' said the knight.

'Who did you say you were?'

'I helped the freelancer at Hox,' Adrian said. He risked a direct look. 'Is your name Waory? Do you work for the Regent?'

'I used to work for him. If you're asking after Dastardly, too bad – he's been killed.'

Adrian turned back to Renda. 'You were right.'

'I doubt they got there so quickly.' She stood beside the knight and yelled at the stone. 'How was Mr Medieval killed?'

'Quiet, sheesh!' Waory shook his head. 'I can hear you. The Land-Regent went mental and poisoned him.'

'This isn't right,' said Adrian. 'Krotar, Siy, the Regent – all not acting like themselves.'

There was a dull thrump that shuddered through them as they stood by the shard.

'Are you forgetting that a person is dead?' Renda said.

'I'm not so sure,' said Waory. Another thrump, louder this time, shook them to the bone. Out of the com-stone, Adrian thought he heard a smaller sound, like drumming from miles away. 

'Sir Knight, you had better come and see what has happened to your friend. An odd order of events may be upon us.'

There was a third thrump, somehow foreboding. The drums were getting louder.

'Did you have to put it like that?' Adrian said. 'This is getting creepy.' The knight had to raise his voice over the drums, mixing in with two more thrumps and a flash of white light across the shard.

'You're breaking up,' Waory called out. The com-stone grew hot in Adrian's hand, the next flash on the shard showing something with lots of teeth.

'If this is your fault, Dastardly...!' The knight threw the com-stone into the air as it shone bright red.

'Take cover!' he said. As they dived towards the barn wall, the com-stone burst above them, showering the field with tiny burning rocks.

Search for Dastardly

Before starting, this is just a recommendation that newcomers might want to read "In Defence of the Realm" before this one.

Plen the gnome turned his new airship northward. Winds from the coast were making it too difficult to get to Skim, and besides, his ogre friend Jowno was probably still sitting exactly where they'd parted twelve hours ago. Ogres were by no means too dumb to live, but their intelligence was on the lower end of reasons to keep one around.

The gnome checked his new course, back over the foothills of the mountains. If he had looked at the plains below, he might have made out a man in knight's armour. Instead though, Plen rummaged around in the chest strapped to the deck.

'Blast!' he said. The glass shard, a magical device if he ever had seen one, was nowhere to be found. Maybe it was for the better. After all, the last owner of this airship had gone insane after looking through the glass for too long.

***

The man on the plain continued along a road between two farms. His king's city having disappeared into the sky, Sir Adrian did not know what to expect – though the chances of the king ever ruling his subjects again were minimal.

Tell that to the nobles with all the money, he thought.

He reached the barn where the king and queen had taken up residence, hesitated, and knocked on the big wood door.

'Come in,' the king declared.

Adrian walked in on the most regal dinner he had ever seen eaten in a place that smelt of pigs.

'Take a seat, Sir Adrian,' the king proclaimed. 'Have some roast duck.'

'I'm amazed at your culinary ingenuity out here,' the knight said. He stayed standing.

'My wife did all the work,' the king said. The attempt to sound less than entirely self-absorbed was transparent.

At least he gave it a go, Adrian thought.

The queen smiled radiantly. 'I just made it up from what I could find, darling.'

Despite himself, Adrian thought about the regional farming families who would be eating boiled cabbage for five nights this week.

'What are you going to do with yourself, Sir Knight?'

'I am in service of the King, your highness.'

'No king sits here any more, Sir Adrian. My kingdom is gone. Who would live there, the only attraction having left our world for the stars?'

'There was the lentil harvest,' Adrian said, surprised at the change of sides in the conversation. 'I am sure it will come back this year as it always has. We could even commission the gnomes to start building a new city.'

'Maybe,' the king announced. 'But until my people journey back over the mountains, if they ever do, what will keep you busy?'

'I don't know, your highness.' Adrian had never been at a loose end before. 'Perhaps I will turn mercenary.'

'If I were you,' the king merely advocated, 'I would sort out my options quickly, before someone else did.'

Adrian bowed to the both of them and left the barn without another word. The sun was just touching the horizon and the evening wind was so soft it was hard to tell where it came from. To his right, northward, a road lead out to the distant foothills. Perhaps it was the road the freelancer had taken before they had met in Sponge Country.

On the edge of his vision two figures were walking towards him. One was certainly a horse, the other was harder to make out. He wandered away from the barn as the figures resolved themselves in the twilight.

The second was a woman holding the horse's harness. She wore a chilly looking one-piece, lined rather uselessly by white fur. Below that were clip-on greaves, the sort of armour that thieves wore.

'Does this animal belong to you?' she asked. The horse whinnied.

'Yes,' Adrian said, embracing the horse. 'How did you find her?'

The woman looked annoyed. 'We met going the same way.'

'Is there a problem?'

'I am afraid that we don't have much time.' The woman's voice was more clipped than her leggings, matching the no-nonsense chin and short hair. 'Am I right that you were at Hox when the... Thing climbed out?'

'Again, yes,' Adrian said. 'I am Sir Adrian, Knight of the –'

'Blah blah, I'm Renda. This horse says that you met a man called Dastardly Medieval.'

'I don't know how you know that, but yes. We barely escaped from that place.'

'Then you can help me.' Renda looked him straight in the eyes. 'Dastardly managed to royally peeve a guy called Krotar yesterday evening. I can explain the details later, but he made a deal and Dastardly didn't honour it.'

'I am sure that Mr Medieval will find ways to avoid this Krotar.'

'You don't know half of it,' Renda said. 'He is working with a very powerful, very dangerous being called Nius. In any case, you do not want to underestimate him. If Krotar and Nius have decided to track down Dastardly, then he is already dead.'